


Undercover Hippo

by sandyk



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:03:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2582381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I really want to know how you can tell demon hippos and hippo hippos apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undercover Hippo

**Author's Note:**

> not mine, no profit garnered, no comics canon.

"Undercover hippo," Willow said. "Undercover hippo?"

Fred nodded. "He wore a device covered with hippo dung to collect their sweat. It's a natural antiseptic and sunscreen. Of course, he didn't realize that the hippos he was trying to get it from were mixed in with a herd of demon hippos and they'd bred with the regular hippos so some of them were demon hippos, some were half-demon and some were the kind he wanted. And all of them were very angry." Fred sipped some of her peppermint triple mocha.

Willow said, "There are demon hippos? No, wait, of course they are. I really want to know how you can tell demon hippos and hippo hippos apart."

"It would be a pretty boring lecture. Mostly, demon hippos will kill you really quickly. Hippo hippos have to get angry first," Fred said. "We did a study at Wolfram and Hart, well, not me. One of the people who worked for me did a study on the ways you tell the difference. The demon hippo sweat has very different qualities than the, uh, hippo hippo one."

"Wacky," Willow said. "Wacky that you ever worked for Wolfram and Hart, I mean. Not the demon hippo sweat thing."

Fred shrugged. She got tired of explaining it. After all, she had quit. Run off at Christmas time because of Lorne's reading of her that night. She'd let Lorne drive their getaway car until she realized Lorne braked and accelerated depending on the rhythms of the Frank Sinatra songs he'd been singing.

And now she worked for the Council. And Wesley and Gunn and Angel and Spike were back in Los Angeles, still trying to fight some version of the good fight. They weren't even mad at her once she explained that Lorne told her she had to. That part hurt a little. But Wesley made it clear it wasn't that they didn't care about her and she decided to accept that.

"I didn't actually ask you here to talk about National Geographic documentaries. Even though that one sounds really interesting, promise. I was just wondering, Fred, are you happy?"

"Here in Austin? Generally? At work? Cause you know I love Austin and my parents are thrilled to have me this close. Well, close compared to being in California, that was really far away. Not as far as Pylea, but they didn't know about that until after. And I'm happy with the Council now that everyone's stopped looking at me like I'm an evil plant. Plant like spy, not the one with chlorophyll. I can list evil plants for you, too." Fred looked down and started peeling the stickers off her mocha. Good distraction technique. She said, "That's not what you were asking."

"Nope," Willow said. "Hey, this is weird for me, too. I'm not usually the coming-on-er. The person doing the coming on. People come on to me. That sounds arrogant."

"You're hitting on me?" Fred looked up, smiling.

"Yeah," Willow said. "What did you think I was doing?"

"Firing me," Fred said.

"Oh, no, not at all. I wouldn't ever. You're great. Also, I'm not your manager. So I can't fire you. I'm like Dwight in The Office that way." Willow smiled.

"That's much better," Fred said. She leaned across the table and kissed Willow quickly. She should have sipped her mocha first, she thought, then it would be pepperminty. Willow seemed like the kind of girl to like peppermint.

"You're not doing that because I'm not firing you, right?"

"Nope," Fred said.

Willow grinned. "Good, cause that wasn't much of a kiss. We should try that again."

"Lots of again," Fred said, standing up. "We can do more than kiss if we're not sitting in a coffee shop."

"I like the way you think, Fred." Willow took her hand and they walked quickly out into the sunlight.


End file.
